According to psychology professor Carol Dweck of Stanford University, “Praising children for being smart can backfire.” If this doesn’t get the attention of Millennium parents, I’m not sure what will. It is my observation that so many parents today believe that if their child appears to be the least bit “advanced” for his age, he’s destined to be the next Albert Einstein, Tiger Woods, or Bill Gates. It’s human nature for mom and dad to show much admiration for their child and dish out praise for accomplishments achieved. The problem is, according to this study, parents may not be doing the best thing by praising their child for his intelligence. Dweck’s research involved junior high students in New York and concluded that “classroom performance improved when her study subjects believed the brain is like a muscle that can grow.” Students who “focused on the learning process (effort, concentration or strategies sued) asked for feedback and did better in all subjects.” Feedback such as, ‘You did well because you worked so hard’ or ‘You used so many descriptive words to make this story interesting’ can encourage children to try new things, as they are being rewarded for their effort. When the ‘time and effort’ strategy is being positively reinforced, the child will probably use the same strategy next time they are learning something. Over time new strategies can be introduced, so the child’s repertoire of strategies is broadened. Dweck goes on to say that “they (students who improved) performed better because their success was being measured by effort, not by test scores or grades.” Parents should praise effort, not just results. Children who received praise about their innate abilities (talents or strengths) had less chance of trying new things and became anxious and under performed as things became more difficult. That is one of the greatest dangers to continually praising children for whatever they do in order to falsely raise a child’s self-esteem. What are mom and dad to do? Offer genuine praise and encouragement for effort and successes, but balance this with setting appropriate expectations and following up with consequences when the child falls short due to laziness. Don’t make excuse. Your child will better face the challenges life has to offer in the future when you as a parent recognize the efforts he is making today.