Married people live 'happily ever after' in fairy tales, but they do so less and less often in real life. I, like many of my friends, got married, divorced, and remarried. I suppose, to some people, I'm a failure. After all, I broke my first solemn promise to 'love and cherish until death us do part.' But I feel that I'm finally a success. I learned from the mistakes I made in my first marriage. This time around, the ways my husband and I share our free time, make decision, and deal with problems are very different. I learned, first of all, not to be a clinging vine (依赖男子的妇女). In my first marriage, I felt the every moment we spent apart was wasted. If Ray wanted to go out to a bar with his friends to watch a football game, I felt rejected and talked him into staying home. I wouldn't accept an offer to go to a movie or join an exercise class if it meant that Ray would be home alone. I realize now that we were often angry with each other just because we spent too much time together. In contrast, my second husband and I spend some of our free time apart and try to have interests of our own. I have started playing racquetball at a health club, and David sometimes takes off to go to the local auto races with his friends. When we are together, we aren't bored with each other, our separate interests make us more interesting people. I learned not only to be apart sometimes but also to work together when it's time to make decisions. When Ray and I were married, I left all the important decisions to him. He decided how we would spend money, whether we should sell the car or fix it, and where to take a vacation. I know now that I went along with this so that I wouldn't have to take the responsibility when things went wrong. I could always end an argument by saying, 'It was your fault!' With my second marriage, I am trying to be a full partner. We ask each other's opinions on major decisions and try to compromise if we disagree. If we make the wrong choice, we're equally guilty. When we rented an apartment, for example, we both had to take the blame for not noticing the drafty windows and the 'no pets' clause in our lease. Maybe the most important thing I've learned is to be a grown-up about facing problems. David and I have made a vow to face our troubles like adults. If we're mad at each f other or worried and upset, we say how we feel. Rather than hide behind our own misery, we talk about the problem until we discover how to fix it. Everybody argues or has to deal with the occasional crisis, but Ray and I always reacted like children to these stormy times. I would lock myself in the spare bedroom. Ray would stalk out of the house, slam the door, and race off in the car. Then I would cry and worry till he returned. I wish that my first marriage hadn't been the place where I learned how to make a relationship work, but at least I did learn. I feel better now about being an independent per- son, about making decisions, and about facing problems. My second marriage isn't perfect, but it doesn't have the deep flaws that made the first one fall apart. Which of the following has contributed to the writer's divorce?