Going through the Customs is a business. The strangest thing about it is that really honest people are often made to feel guilty. The hardened professional smuggler, on the other hand, is never troubled by such feelings, even if he has five hundred gold watches in his suitcase. When I returned from abroad recently, a particularly officious young Customs Officer clearly regarded me as a smuggler. 'Have you anything to declare?' he asked, looking me in the eye. 'No,' I answered confidently. 'Would you mind unlocking this suitcase please ?'