1 Boys live in a world with its own Code of Conduct, a set of ruthless, unspoken, and unyielding rules: Don't be a goody-goody. Never rat. If your parents ask about bruises, shrug. Never admit fear. Ride the roller coaster, and join the fistfight, do what you have to do. Asking for help is for sissies. Empathy is for nerds. You can help your best buddy, under certain circumstances. Everyone else is on his own. Never discuss anything of substance with anybody. Grunt, shrug, dump on teachers, laugh at wimps, talk about comic books. Anything else is risky. 2. You don't need to be a shrink to see how the lessons boys learn affect their behavior as men. Men are being asked, more and more, to show sensitivity, but they dread the very word. They struggle to build their increasingly uncertain work lives but will deny they're in trouble. They want love, affection, and support but don't know how to ask for them. They hide their weaknesses and fears from all, even those they care for. They've learned to be wary of intervening when they see others in trouble. They often still balk at being stigmatized as weird.