We listened to such explanations sympathetically. But the critical point was that, in the process we were trying to teach Benjamin that one can solve a problem effectively by oneself. Such self-reliance is a principal value of child rearing in middle-class America. More generally, he is less likely to view life --- as Americans do --- as a series of situations in which one has to learn to think for one self, to solve problems on own’s own and even to discover new pobloms for which creative solutions are wanted.