Self-image Section I The image we have of ourselves – we realize this too slowly, if at all – is not the same as the image others have of us. One of the last things we get to know about ourselves is what others really think of us. We may spend our whole life going around thinking that what we see in the mirror is what others see too. Section II This is complicated by the fact that we try, sometimes consciously, sometimes not, to give different impressions to different people. Also, others – by their behavior, reputation, social standing, attractiveness, or other qualities – may make us present ourselves in ways that looking back we consider not the real “us,” whatever that may be. A compulsive user of foul language can find himself using expletives like “Golly!” or “Well I never!” instead of his usual choice of words when in the presence of someone with an air of moral authority. On the other hand, a shy person may be seen as rude or impolite because he or she, out of embarrassment, doesn’t follow the “rules” of normal behavior. Section III As the poet T. S. Eliot wrote, we “prepare a face to meet the faces that we meet.” One of the many things this suggests is that impressions we want to give generally don’t go as deep as we think, and that a mask will do the job of keeping our real selves hidden and convincingly show the kind of person we want to be or see ourselves as – at least in this situation. This also suggests that they are generally false impressions. But most of us are not fooled – we are, after all, all playing the same game. Section IV But that is with people we know or come into contact with. What about the impression your behavior makes on a larger public? You may have been told at school that, in or out of uniform, you were an “ambassador” for that school and that your behavior affects the way the school is perceived by the community. If you behave badly, it’s not just you, but your school, that gets a bad reputation. Section V Taking this further, to what extent are we “ambassadors” for our country when we travel abroad? Globalization may be making the way we all live similar in many ways, but cultural habits, manners and morals – even in the smallest things, such as how we greet or say goodbye to someone – can differ greatly and are slow to change. Get these wrong and you can find yourself in trouble, not to mention being perceived as ill-mannered. Most of us most of the time try not to give offence but, as mentioned above, the bad behavior of some can change the way the whole community they come from is seen. Section VI Thinking in stereotypes makes life easier and requires, in fact, very little thought, as a certain type of behavior can be classed as, say, typically French or German or English. To some the English abroad, for example, have too much to drink, get into fights, are noisy and generally unpleasant to be around. To others they are well-mannered, but a bit quiet and unadventurous. It would seem that we have less control over how we are perceived than we think.