In our culture, the sources of what we call a sense of “mastery” — feeling important and worthwhile — and the sources of what we call a sense of “pleasure”— finding life enjoyable — are not always the same. Women often are told “You can’t have it all.” Sometimes what the speaker really is saying is: “You choose a career, so you can’t expect to have closer relationships or a happy family life.” or “You have a wonderful husband and children — what’s all this about wanting a career?” But women need to understand and develop both aspects of well-being, if they are to feel good about themselves. Our study shows that, for women, well-being has two aspects. One is mastery, which includes self-respect, a sense of control over your life, and low levels of anxiety and depression. Mastery is closely related to the “doing” side of life, to work and activity. Pleasure is the other aspect, and it is made up of happiness, satisfaction and optimism. It is tied more closely to the “feeling” side of life. The two are independent of each other. A woman could be high in mastery and low in pleasure, and vice versa. For example, a woman who has a good job, but whose mother has just died, might be feeling very good about herself and in control of her work life, but the pleasure side could be damaged for a time. The concepts of mastery and pleasure can help us identify the sources of well-being for women, and correct past mistakes. In the past, women were encouraged to look only at the feeling side of life as the source of all well-being. But we know that both mastery and pleasure are important. And mastery seems to be achieved largely through work. In our study, all the groups of employed women were valued significantly higher in mastery than women who were not employed. A woman’s well-being is developed when she takes on multiple roles. At least by middle adulthood, the women who were involved in a combination of roles — marriages, motherhood, and employment — were the highest in well-being, in spite of warnings about stress and strain.