The Death of a Spouse For much of the world, the death of Richard Nixon was the end of a complex public life. But researchers who study bereavement wondered if it didn't also signify the end of a private grief. Had the former president merely run his allotted fourscore and one, or had he fallen victim to a pattern that seems to afflict long- time married couples: one spouse quickly following the other to the grave? Pat, Nixon's wife of 53 years, died last June after a long illness. No one knows for sure whether her death contributed to his. After all, he was elderly and had a history of serious heart disease. Researchers have long observed that the death of a spouse particularly a wife is sometimes followed by the untimely death of the grieving survivor. Historian Will Durant died 13 days after his wife and collaborator, Ariel Buckminster Fuller and his wife died just 36 hours apart. Is this more than coincidence? “Part of the story, I suspect, is that we men are so used to ladies feeding us and taking care of us,” says Knud Helsing, an epidemiologist at the Johns Hopkins School of Public health, “that when we lose a wife we go to pieces. We don't know how to take care of ourselves.” In one of several studies Helsing has conducted on bereavement, he found that widowed men had higher mortality rates than married men in every age group. But, he found that widowers who remarried enjoyed the same lower mortality rate as men who'd never been widowed. Women's health and resilience may also suffer after the loss of a spouse. In a 1987 study of widows, researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles, and UC, San Diego, found that they had a dramatic decline in levels of important immune - system cells that fight off disease. Earlier studies showed reduced immunity in widowers. For both men and women, the stress of losing a spouse can have a profound effect. “All sorts of potentially harmful medical problems can be worsened, “says Gerald Davison, professor of psychology at the University of Southern California. People with high blood pressure, for example, may see it rise. In Nixon's case, Davison speculates, “the stroke, although not caused directly by the stress, was probably hastened by it.” Depression can affect the surviving spouse's will to live suicide are elevated in the bereaved, along with accidents not involving cars. Involvement in life helps prolong it. Mortality, says Duke University psychiatrist Daniel Blazer, is higher in older people without a good social - support - system, who don't feel they're part of a group or a family, that they “fit in” somewhere. And that's a more common problem for men, who tend not to have as many close friendships as women. The sudden absence of routines can also be a health hazard, says Blazer. “A person who loses a spouse shows deterioration in normal habits like sleeping and eating.” he says. “They don't have that other person to orient them, like when do you go to bed, when do you wake up, when do you eat, when do you take your medication, when do you go out to take a walk.'? Your pattern is no longer locked into someone else's pattern, so it deteriorates.” While earlier studies suggested that the first six months to a year - or even the first week -- were times of higher mortality for the bereaved, some newer studies find no special vulnerability in this initial period. Most men and women, of course do not die as a result of the loss of a spouse. And there are ways to improve the odds. A strong sense of separate identity and lack of over dependency during the marriage are helpful. Adult sons and daughters, siblings and friends need to pay special attention to a newly widowed parent. They can make sure that he or she is socializing, getting proper nutrition and medical care, expressing emotion and, above all, feeling needed and appreciated. According to researchers, Richard Nixon's dea