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Holly Kopczynski always prided herself on raising her kids to show good manners. She thought she was on the right track by teaching her four children how to be polite. Then one day, she noticed that two of her children were being rude. "We were at a restaurant for my mom's birthday," Kopczynski remembered. "I looked over, and there are my daughter and my oldest son texting, holding their phones under the table. I just came unglued. I was like, 'Are you kidding? You're at your grandma's birthday party. Put those phones away now!'" Many teens love their gadgets. But the devices are presenting some new challenges for parents. How can they teach their tech-savvy kids some electronic etiquette? After all, today's parents didn't grow up with cell phones or texting devices. Many kids—and some adults—don't seem to realize when their gadget behavior is rude. Kopczynski said that was true of her 20-year-old son and 16-year-old daughter at the birthday party. "That was a sad moment for me," Kopczynski said. "I grew up with rules, the 'no elbows on the table' kind of things. And I've raised my kids with that. But they didn't even realize what they were doing." P.M. Forni is a professor at Johns Hopkins University. "We're seeing behavior that you never would have seen before," Forni said. "Students [are] getting up in the middle of class to answer their phones [and] texting during class... . [They're] watching TV on their laptops [while the teacher is talking]." So far, parents are still learning how to react when their kids act this way. Some are setting new rules, such as "no texting at dinner." Beth Herina made that rule because her 13-year-old son Dylan was texting during dinner. She has another rule, too: "No texting on family outings." "[Dylan] can text en route, but not when it is family time," Herina said. "And I ask questions about who he is texting." Herina doesn't think her rules are so tough. Her brother-in-law checks his children's cell phones to read their texts. The new cell phone rules seem to go hand in hand with new computer rules. Many parents are taking command of their children's computer use. How? Parents are setting themselves up as administrators for Internet accounts. Parents are also asking kids questions about who they are talking with online. Some parents are putting the computer in a common area of the house. That way parents can see the Web sites their children are visiting. Why are parents doing these things? They want to make sure that their kids are safe. There's another reason, too. Parents want to make sure that their kids spend time with real people. Face-to-face communication, experts say, is key to learning good manners in social situations. Laura Lambert is a mom of four. She tries not to use time limits and other rules. Her 16-year-old son now has his own laptop. "What I've found is if you say you only get 90 minutes, [kids worry] about [their computer time] all day. And they rush through everything else ... ," Lambert said. "I find [that kids control their computer use] better if I just say 'I want you to balance your time better so you can get everything else done.'" Sometimes, kids don't like the rules. Kopczynski recently took her daughter Kaitlyn's phone away. Why? She was texting after her mother told her to stop. "I guess I understand why there are rules," Kaitlyn said. "But I don't think I'm that bad. I have a lot of friends who don't have rules at all." Joy Weaver, of Dallas, teaches etiquette classes to all ages. She said parents should begin establishing rules early on about cell phone and computer use. Weaver also said it is important that parents follow their own rules about gadget etiquette. "You can't have two sets of rules," Weaver said. "If you don't want your children to text at the dinner table, you need to ignore your own phone [when it rings], or excuse yourself from the table, too."
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