Most of us are taught to pay attention to what is said—the words. Words do provide us with some information, but meanings are (1)_____ from so many other sources that it would hinder our effectiveness (2)_____ a partner to a relationship to rely too heavily on words (3)_____ Words are used to describe only a small part of the many ideas we associate with any given (4)_____. Sometimes we can gain insight into some of those (5)_____ if we listen for (6)_____ words. We don't always say what we mean (7)_____ mean what we say. Mostly we mean several things at once. A person wanting to purchase a house says to the current owner. 'This step has to be fixed before I'll buy'. The owner says, 'It's been like that for years'. (8)_____, the step hasn't been like that for years, but the (9)_____ message is: 'I don't want to fix it. We can put up with it why can't you?' The (10)_____ for a more expansive view of meaning can be developed by examining a message (11)_____ who said it, when it occurred, the (12)_____ conditions or situation, and how it was said. When a message occurs can also (13)_____ associated meaning. A friend's unusually docile behavior. may only be understood by (14)_____ that it was preceded by situations that required a(n) (15)_____ amount of assertiveness. We would do well to listen for how message are (16)_____ The words, 'it sure has been nice to have you over', can be said with (17)_____ and excited or ritualistically. The phrase can be said once or (18)_____ several times. And the meaning we associate with the phrase will change (19)_____ Sometimes if we say something infrequently it assumes more importance; sometimes the more we say something the (20)_____ importance it assumes.