A man asked his father-in-law , “ Many people praised you for a s uccessful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret? ” The father-in-law answered with a smile , “ Never c riticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses , she could not find a better husband than you. ” We al l look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally , when a person makes a mistake , he would look around to find a scapegoat ( 替罪羊 ) t o point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one f i nger at a person , the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others , others will ignore our mistakes too.